New year, new you?

Is it new year new you or have your New Year’s Resolutions fallen by the wayside already? 

As I’m more of a reflector than someone who sets New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve taken the opportunity to think about the last 12 months and understand what I’ve learnt so that I can continue to build upon those points in the months ahead.  Flicking through my journals, I see that I’ve written a lot about being brave, having courage, showing vulnerability and managing my fear.  That might be something to do with Continue reading

Day 24 of F.O.O.D. – using NOUGAT to help you say ‘no!’

Wow, I’ve made it! Day 24 of my FOOD Advent Calendar and I’m sharing my Christmassy NOUGAT to help you reset some boundaries. In many conversations this year there seems to be an expectation we’re available 24/7 just because we’re WFH. This isn’t sustainable. Let’s practice being more assertiveness otherwise we’re going to suffer from burnout!

When you say ‘yes’ to something, you say no to something else. Prioritise the right things

If you find it hard to say no, observe others who are good at being assertive. What techniques would work for you?

Understand the triggers that make you say yes when you really mean no.  Is it because you feel you ought to, or embarrassed to say no?

You will know when you really want to say ‘no’ because your gut feel tells you. Listen to it and tell the other person how you feeling using the ‘I’ word

If the other person is acting aggressive, make sure you stay in control. Remember your attitude affects your behaviour which in turn affects their attitude and behaviour.

Words are only one piece of the communication! Tone and body language can often give us away! Try practising saying ‘no’ out loud in front of the mirror so that your tone and body language are congruent with your words!

 

Day 23 of F.O.O.D. – BAKE to take the stress away

Stress means different things to different people as we all have such different tolerance levels. But at the end of the day, it’s what we feel when we think we’ve lost control.

For Day 23 of my F.O.O.D. Advent Calendar I’m going to share my BAKE technique. You’ll always find me in the kitchen when I’m feeling overwhelmed; it’s one of my happy places. Here are some ginger biscuits I prepared earlier!

When we feel stressed, we often let our beliefs run wild. What stories are you are telling yourself? Could there be another way of looking at it?

Sit down and draw a four square grid on a piece of paper. Label each square ‘avoid, alter, adapt, accept’ then work through each element. For example in avoid could you pare down your ‘to do’ list? In alter is there a way of sharing your feelings rather than bottling them up? Could you adapt your standards and perhaps accept forgiveness could play a part?

Be kind to yourself. If you’re not being kind to yourself, you can’t be kind to others. Is there a way you can reward yourself when you achieve a milestone? It could be going for a walk at lunch time.

Finally have belief in yourself that you can achieve what you set your mind to achieve. When we have self efficacy, we are more likely to get the job done