Well what a start to my day today!  First I get up in the dark and my bare foot treads on something strange.  When I put the light on I find it’s half a dead mouse that our lovely cat, Maverick, has brought in.  After showering and dressing, I then shoot off to a breakfast meeting and having circled the block a few times to find a car parking space, arrive at the venue only to be told that the meeting has been cancelled!  I started to hear Eeyore in my head saying ‘I don’t know why you bothered!  What a day this is going to be!’ However, soon allowed this to pass as the person behind the reception desk was so charming.  The way they handled the situation made me think of all the things I could do before I went home – pick up the groceries, drop the parcels off at the post office, all before 8.30!  That one person had connected with me in such a way that I came away from what could have been a negative situation thinking about what I could be do with my time instead.   Recently ‘connections’ have played a large part in my workshops.  We’ve talked about being genuine and having open body language, but above all letting your face know that you care and that’s certainly what the person at venue did today.  Dale Carnegie once wrote ‘The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back’ and this made me think about the essential role a smile plays in our lives.

Years ago, when I worked in financial services, I was known as Miss Sunshine.  My motto was ‘if you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!’

Cheesy I know, but I felt when people were happier, they were kinder to others, more things were achieved as people were more helpful and that paid dividends for our customers.  I was also very aware of how it made me feel being on the receiving end of a smile, especially if I was feeling a little tired and grumpy!  So let’s have a look at some of the benefits:

1. It can impact on our overall wellbeing.  When we smile, our muscles send a message to our brain which then releases chemicals called endorphins that make us feel happy.  And that’s not all, these endorphins also lower our stress levels and act as natural painkillers – three benefits in one! No wonder they say that laughter is the best medicine.  But did you know that even when you’re not feeling 100%, you can simulate a genuine smile and it will release the same chemicals in our system to help us feel more upbeat.
2. It’s infectious.  You might think a yawn is contagious, but a smile is too!  If someone smiles at you and says hello, it’s much harder to frown back.  You’re more likely to mirror the person and smile in return.  Not only does this create a better interaction with that person, but overall can help build longer term relationships as people find you more positive and engaging.  And if it has the same benefit for them as in point one above, they will also be feeling happier!
3. It creates a connection.  People are more likely to speak to you if you are smiling.  Imagine the scene – you are walking through the office at work, head down, shoulders hunched and looking at the floor and mutter a hello.  How many people are likely to connect with you in this scenario?  Now replay it, with you walking through the same office smiling and walking with an upright posture – you’re much more likely to be connecting with everyone around you.
4. People can hear a smile.  I’m sure you’ve heard the people say they can hear a smile.  If we work a lot on the phones people can sense our moods.  The next time you have a sales call to make, take the advice of one of the contact centres I worked with and ‘smile before you dial’.  It will change the whole feel of the call.  I think this also links into number two above as all I can think about as I’m writing this, is one of my friends.  Whenever I hear her laugh across the room, she makes me laugh out loud too.  It’s not that I know what she’s laughing at, but her laughter is just so infectious and makes me feel good too.  I’m sure you can relate to someone like that too.
5. It can put us at ease.  People are much more likely to be drawn to people who smile as they come over as encouraging and helpful.  How many times have you been a little unsure when doing something whether it was the school play or the presentation in front of hundreds of people and found an extra boost from those you know smiling and nodding providing you with the reassurance you need?  Sometimes all we need is to see someone’s smile to put us at ease and know that they are in our corner.
6. It make us more attractive.  Our smiley persona can help us to be more successful in a multitude of roles whether as leaders, attending a job interview or serving customers.  There’s a Chinese saying ‘a person without a smile must not open a shop’.  People are as easily put off by the person who is grumpy and unhelpful which means they will avoid us in the future. Smiling presents us as a positive and sociable person who is confident in what we do which is attractive to others.
7. It forms the simplest form of communication.  It’s the one thing that living in our diverse culture means the same.  Gestures can differ, but a smile means the same whatever language we speak – it’s the universal language of happiness.  And of course it’s one of those things that’s free and easy to give away.

You might be thinking that’s all well and good, but you’re not a smiley person. Like everything that helps us to build our credibility, we need to practice so that it becomes a habit and a way of life.  Those who rely on their reputation practice these skills because they know a warm smile makes such a difference.  Research shows that there are up to 19 different types of smile, but why don’t you start off by practicing a smile in the mirror that’s genuine for you.  One that encompasses not only your mouth but makes your eyes twinkle too.  And then look for lots of opportunities to try it out and make a connection with others whether you’re in the supermarket or in a restaurant.  You’ll be surprised how quickly it will feel more natural.