How many times do you find yourself in a cycle of negative self-talk? Overthinking things, worrying about the opinions of others, to name but a few?

We all do it, but here are reasons not to…

➡️  ​Thoughts are not facts: We often mistake our thoughts for reality, but they’re just interpretations, stories, or reactions to events.​

➡️  The mind’s tendency for negativity: Our brains are wired to notice threats and negativity, which can skew our thinking toward worst-case scenarios. We need to filter out unhelpful thoughts that are rooted in fear or insecurity.​

➡️  Influence of conditioning: Many thoughts come from past conditioning, not the present reality. If we don’t question them, we’ll continue to make choices based on outdated beliefs and behaviors.​

​The below techniques will help you develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts.

🌟  ​Mindfulness: Teaches you to observe thoughts without judgment, and to choose which ones to engage with. Focus on your breathing and when thoughts arise, notice them without pushing them away or following them. Label them as “thoughts” and bring your attention back to your breath.​

🌟  ​Cognitive restructuring: Challenge negative or irrational thoughts. By identifying unhelpful thinking patterns (like catastrophising) you can replace them with balanced, realistic thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, ask is this fact or assumption? ​What’s the evidence?​ What’s a more balanced way of looking at this?​

🌟  ​The ACT technique: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches thought defusion, which involves distancing yourself from your thoughts. It helps you recognise that a thought is just a mental event, not a reality. When an unhelpful thought arises, instead of thinking, for example, “I’m a failure” say to yourself, “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.” This weakens the power of the thought by creating distance.​

🌟  ​Journaling: When you put thoughts on paper, it’s easier to objectively evaluate them rather than getting lost in the emotional charge they carry. Keep a daily journal and write about situations that trigger negative thoughts. Review what you’ve written and ask yourself if these thoughts are accurate, useful, or worth believing.​

🌟  ​Self-compassion practices: Our most damaging thoughts are rooted in harsh self-criticism. Cultivating self-compassion allows us to treat ourselves with the same kindness we’d offer a friend. When critical thoughts arise, pause and ask, “Would I speak to a friend in this way?”

🌟  ​Gratitude practice: Focusing on what you’re grateful for can shift your mindset from negative thinking to more positive thoughts. Gratitude can help counterbalance the brain’s negativity bias. I’ve mentioned before how helpful this is for me. Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. This practice trains your mind to focus on positive aspects of your life and reduces the impact of negative thoughts.​

​I’m sure you have many more and I’d love to hear them.