I’m sure I’m not the only person who is becoming more and more aware of the many tensions, both political and cultural, that seem to be contributing to our society becoming more defensive.​

​Is it because of how it’s reported by media and egged on by social media, or is it because these tensions have created environments where people really feel the need to defend their views, identities, and actions more aggressively?​

​When I think about media and social media, in particular, I know that if I based all my decisions on what I received on my screens, I’d probably be very narrow in my views and responses. When I’ve searched a subject in a certain way, the algorithms pump like-minded views to my device creating a form of echo chamber. I’m also aware that I often see anonymous responses that are emotionally charged and not in any way empathic.​

​Without doubt, our society has become more diverse and complex, with issues of identity becoming more prominent. With the spread of misinformation and growing distrust in traditional sources of authority such as our media and government, etc, it’s perhaps a reason for people to become defensive when they perceive their identity or beliefs are being challenged as they feel uncertain about what to believe.​

​During the protests after the Southport tragedy, I watched in horror as the demonstrations unfolded across the country. I was in Walthamstow the day the protests were due to take place that evening and you could feel the tension in the air. However, as I watched the TV that evening my angst turned to tears of joy as the neighbourhood turned out in force to support their community. ​

​I was also further encouraged about what can be when I watched the interview between Imam Adam Kelwick from the oldest mosque in England and Mark Scanlon, one of the fathers in the ‘Save our Children’ protest. They sat down to talk about immigration, the Southport tragedy, and the psychology of hate. ​

​Imam said, “We had all these amazing discussions and right towards the end of the discussion there was a moment, and it really was like a lightbulb and it’s like, people are trying to play us against each other here, aren’t they?” He added. “Everyone realised at the same time, and it was like, wow!” Mr Scanlon said the meeting had helped both men to realise that “we’re all facing the same problems… regardless of where you come from, what your background, what your faith is.”​

​So, although defensiveness is prevalent, I personally don’t think it’s insurmountable if we all play our part. In the same way we work to foster psychological safety in the work-place, we also need to be doing the same in our neighbourhoods and communities, both on and offline, to promote a sense of belonging. When people feel secure in their group identity, they are less likely to react in a defensive way. ​

​Let’s not leave it down to people like the Imam and Mr Scanlon to make a difference. Let’s make it a collective responsibility to promote empathy and understanding. Encouraging people to listen actively and try to understand others’ perspectives can reduce defensiveness. It will involve fostering empathy, patience, and open-mindedness in conversations whilst challenging our biases. The latter may have been passed down through generations, but as a society it’s important to understand them and how they may have protected us in the past whilst amending them if they’re out of date. ​

​If we can help people see beyond their differences whilst feeling heard and understood, I’m sure we’ll move towards a more inclusive society. ​

​What could you do today to promote empathic and respectful dialogue where differing opinions are valued?

How can you set an example by responding to criticism with openness and a willingness to engage in constructive discussions?​