Have you started to think about what you’re going to be doing over the festive period? ​

​It’s a time of the year that I love, but I always feel that I’m continually trying to smooth things out amongst the family so that everyone has a great time. Both in the preparation and the actual period. I overthink everything because I want it to be so nice. And because we’re a family of people pleasers you’d wonder what could go wrong. But, of course, all being together for a period of time can stir up old patterns, unspoken expectations, and grief for those no longer with us. ​

​Add to that the emotional weight of the season, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.​

​So, as this year’s festive season approaches, instead of feeling the usual mix of anticipation and apprehension, I’ve decided to gift myself (and you) some emotional steadiness to make sure we’re looking after ourselves as well as everyone else! ​

​These are some of my best coping mechanisms to help me stay calm when my emotions start to feel triggered:​

​🌟 Breathe before you speak. As Viktor E Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” My simple way of doing this is by counting to ten. It’s a technique for a reason. When we’re counting, it’s giving the brain something else to think about rather than the surrounding chaos! A few slow breaths can help you respond rather than react. ​

​🌟 Name it to tame it. When you feel triggered, pause and name the emotion; “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” This helps because it engages with the part of the brain that looks after control and perspective, so reduces stress reactivity and makes it easier to choose a more helpful response.​

​🌟 Set boundaries with kindness. I call it having a soft heart with strong boundaries. You can say “I’d love to join, but I need some quiet time first.” Or, “Let’s talk about that another day.”​

​🌟 Choose presence over perfection. This is probably my most difficult one to relax into, but I do know it’s just me! We don’t need to fix everything or please everyone. Being grounded and kind is enough.​

​Do you have any other strategies that work for you that you can share?​