Do you ever hear something and feel it’s like a lightening bolt of information and wonder why you hadn’t taken note of the relevance before?​

​This was how I felt when I was listening to Jay Shetty on the Mel Robbins podcast last week. It was one of those moments where I had to keep replaying that piece of the podcast over and over again! I’m wondering if it hits a chord for you like it did for me? ​

​He said that his mum used to say, ‘we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions’. ​

​I can recall many a time when I’ve done something with really good intentions, yet it’s bombed in the way it’s landed! I can also think of times when I’ve been quick to judge without taking the time to find out the other person’s true intentions, and then, usually when emotions have dissipated, been able to see the whole situation from a different perspective. By this time, the damage has been done because my actions have defined me!​

​My learning so far has been to:​

​💡 Get curious   Ask open-ended questions to understand someone else’s perspective. Instead of assuming why they’ve acted in a particular way, ask them about their reasoning or motivations. ​

​💡 Ask yourself, ‘Is this like them to act and behave in this way?’   Take a step back and think about the circumstances or pressures they might be facing. Context often provides clues about why someone acted a certain way. If you know them well, reflecting on patterns can also offer insights into their intentions.​

​💡 Practice empathy and patience   Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel or act in a similar situation. Often giving people the benefit of the doubt allows space for their true intentions to become clearer over time.​

​What do you think? Have you encountered situations where this mindset might have helped?​